Blimey, doesn’t Christmas come round fast? And just in the same way, it’s now nigh on a year since POTW launched. Time flies, and all that.

Anyway, the shortlist for the much-vaunted and highly valued “Christmas Post of the Week” consists of the following :-

1. To get us in the true mood of the Festering Season, LeftLion’s acerbic “By the way, I hate Christmas“.
   “I dunno about you, but if I was his missus and all I could see at night was a massive neon reindeer head staring at me through the curtains, I’m not going to be massively up for a seeing-to.”
   Nominated by Kate
2. Girl with a One-Track Mind’s post about Consent.
   “I had harboured a teenage crush on 24-year old Jim for a few weeks, so when he asked me if I wanted to go back to his place after the club finished “for a smoke”, I readily agreed, happy that he fancied me too. Soon after we bundled into a taxi together, and I waved goodbye to my friends with a smile on my face.”
   Nominated by IanD
3. Random Burbling’s “They ask no quarter
   “Naturally the council said no. These buildings would not be in keeping with the character of the area, or the character of the city, they would ruin the skyline and might even threaten Edinburgh’s status as a UNESCO World Heritage site. Then the consortium told the council how much money they would make out of it. And the council said, “okay then.””
   Nominated by MissyM
4. Letters to Ed’s post titled ‘Entheogen, I.
   “There was no such thing in our vocabulary as a bad trip.”
   Nominated by Unreliable Witness
5. My Mental Milkcrate’s “Two Years and Two Weeks Later“
   “Imogen asks for paper dolls and I cut the outline she has traced in the air with my fingers slightly crossed this time to more accurately imitate the blades.”
   Also nominated by Unreliable Witness
6. ClairWil’s “Oh God, The Drink“
   “I emerge from a two day hibernation following the works night out. I have been trying to piece together my movements and have that awful sneaking suspicion I might have made rather a clown of myself. Mr Clairwil informs me that he was awoken at 2am to be asked questions about boxes and sex to which there was no real answer.”
   Nominated by Katy Newton
7. It’s becoming a familiar name on this shortlist, but all the same Unreliable Witness’s “The World’s Worst Eskimo” is a worthy shortlist nomination.
   ““I’m s-s-s-still c-c-c-cold,” she murmured, sticking out her bottom lip in a most disgruntled pout. This had been her mantra since she arrived at my front door earlier in the evening. The knocking had been tired and quiet - barely there, yet nonetheless insistent.”
   Nominated by Ani
8. No Time To Say It’s “Goodbye Cruel World“.
   “There was a hole in the crotch of my silk pajamas. The color of the pajamas, though insignificant to this story, was pearl.”
   Nominated by Kate (again)
   
   And finally
9. What Katy Did’s “Are you descended from Blackbeard?“
   “I think I am going to vomit. Drink myself into oblivion indeed, more like drink myself into the toilet bowl. You know how to get drunk really quickly? Drink three drinks at once, just down one mouthful, than another, and another and so forth.”
   Nominated by Overnight Editor

Have a good Festering Season, all my lovely judges, and you adorable readers. Now I’m off to throw lumps of coal at peasants. Hey, you get your laughs where you can at this time of year. Bah, Humbug.

If you have a post you want to nominate, please leave a link in the comments below.
The deadline for nominations is Friday December 21st…

Fancy joining PotW as an occasional judge? A permanent team member? Just want to help out? Please drop us a line….

BTW, between you and me, there was a rumour PotW may have to close at the end of this year, without more of us … how true this is I don’t know and maybe some knight in shining something is already striding in to rescue it (I made this the present tense because I don’t know what the past participle of “stride” is.. stroud? strided?) .. anyhow, if you could see yourself adjudicating, judging, reading excellent posts and having a say in it all, even overseeing the whole shebang, please let us know…

This week’s resounding winner is ScaryDuck’s On Christmas round-robin letters

“This is the year that I have finally succumbed and written one of those round-robin letters you always receive in Christmas cards from annoying people.

Season of goodwill? Arse.”

Read more…

Our Judges said:

“I’m taking the Duck at his word that he didn’t crib any of this from my second cousin, twice-removed. I tend to believe him because this is actually fun to read.”

and

“I didn’t realise people still did this… If I had to, mine would go like his… Bloody Xmas, bloody Other People…”

The winning post was nominated by Kate. Your seasonal shortlister was Sarah R and your jolly judges were Asta and my santa-esque self Sarah P. Things were kept running smoothly, as usual, by Mr Mike…

The next Post Of The Week will be announced on Sunday evening.
Please note that nominations for next week cannot be accepted until then.

Sorry the Shortlist is a little later than usual, folks - busy times…

1. a man & his hoover: It’s Official - I’m Not Skinny
(Nominated by Bob)

Figuring someone had a friend arriving or maybe food delivered I stood aside in the narrow hallway to let the new person pass by, particularly as some people seem to be bothered by small white furry dogs.

2. An Unreliable Witness: Unsent letter #8
(Nominated by Kate)

Give or take a day or two, and more or less half a memory away, it struck me this afternoon, like a forceful blow to the back of the neck from a malevolent spirit, that it has been a full year since this still regrettably one-sided correspondence began.

3. freaky trigger: Self-Organising Systems in the London Bridge Pret a Manger(Nominated by Mike)

His main role in the customers’ lives, though - a thankless one - is to inform us that there are six open tills and can we please form six queues, instead of, as invariably happens, one big long queue which fills individual tills from the front. Is he right?

4. pixeldiva: When I am Queen
(Nominated by Lyle)

Classes will be taken from early childhood in the correct way to behave on public transport, and anyone found breaching those rules will be given points on their licence, much in the same way points are awarded from breaches of the driving rules.

5. Scaryduck: On Christmas round-robin letters
(Nominated by kate)

Season of goodwill? Arse.

Well, screw that, this year I’m doing it properly

6. sukratL TIME WELL SPENT SAY I
(Nominated by Mike)

Scientific Socialism are an acoustic duo from East Germany, Miko Efflböch and Dini “Striped Pants” Gneidängerlands-Muchtereide, who together fled the Fall of the East and the restoration of capitalistic economic tyranny, for a life of radical avant-garde nomadism in Camberwell in South London.

7. The perorations of Lady Bracknell: Rant
(Nominated by Miss Vertigo )

What the DDA does not demand - and neither should it - is that disabled people should be paid to work in jobs for which they are completely unsuited, and that their employers should turn a blind eye to how rubbish they are at what they’re being paid to do because, oh God, it must be dreadful and appalling to “suffer from a disability”.

8. Write Procrastinator: Junior’s observational skills
(Nominated by Bob)

Junior: Who is Etta James?
Me: She’s a singer.
Junior: She doesn’t seem to want to sing about happy things.
Me: Yeah, well, I think she’s a blues singer.

If you have a post you want to nominate, please leave a link in the comments below.
The deadline for nominations is Friday, December 14.

Why stop at nominating (but please, don’t stop nominating!)? If you’d like to be a part of the team, or maybe just drop in for a week of judging, we’d love to have you on board. Click here for more details, and feel free to get in touch with any questions.