The next Post Of The Week will be announced on Sunday evening.
Please note that nominations for next week cannot be accepted until then.

1-Dad Gone Mad-Mine

They never mention it in childbirth classes or parenting books but I’m here to tell you it’s true: when you become a father, you can never have anything that’s exclusively your own. Any of the material and intangible “things” you used to have “all to yourself” – starting with your wife – are claimed as community property in a hostile takeover by your greedy-ass children.

2-Everything is Electric- fine dining

“The what?”
“The pommes frites?”
She looked blank.
“The chips? The fries?” She shook her head. I pointed at the menu.
“Ahhhh,” she said pointedly, “the pommy frights.”

3-Jerrychicken- How to grow your own drugs

Her family lived in the same small mining village, so small was it that everyone knew everyone else, everyone spaketh to each other, everyone was dirt poor in the pit village and proud of it so a bottle green bottle garden was somewhat burgeois and a thing to show off and if I wouldn’t plant it then she and her sister would and they’d show it off in their front window.

4-Real E Fun- Sally and Dolly

‘She was very well organised, she got a rota sorted out for friends and neighbours to come and sit with John so that she could get out to the hairdresser and the library and the shops. But that was only a couple of hours twice a week or so. It wasn’t enough.’

5-Rockpool in the Kitchen- Going Mental 2

People are more aware of these things now. They – we - weren’t then: I wasn’t. Spending hours at a time sitting on the floor, under a table, weeping: taking two hours in the morning sometimes to get dressed: all this seemed mere lack of will power, aberration.

6-Tired Dad- Breathing Difficulties part 2

There are many things They do not tell first-time parents. Because they are Bastards and want you to suffer terribly.

NOMINATIONS FOR THIS WEEK ARE NOW CLOSED.
The shortlist will be appearing soon.

Paul. Because ‘Paul’ is a nice name’s : The Girl in the Chicken Wire Cage

Her face was held in this position by a perfect ‘C’-shaped wreath of fat. A crease began at one temple, circled just under her chin like a soldiers helmet band and ended at the other temple. From that her chins went down the front of her in perfectly graduated masses, widening each time until they completely encircled her at the equator.

Read more:

Our judges said:

“Enthralling, thanks to the author’s superb descriptive powers. But someone PLEASE explain to her the difference between it’s and its. These things jar in writing of this high calibre.”

“A marvellous exercise in word painting. Good story-telling too.”

The next Post Of The Week will be announced on Sunday evening. Please note that nominations for next week cannot be accepted until then.

1. Don’t Call Me Joe’s Training

“Come on Alice, you’re annoying the whole train now.”

No, madam, you are annoying me. If I was going to be dragged into this I wanted to tell Alice that it’s ok to be angry sometimes, that with a bit of practice she can get her reaction times up, but who really cares about cards anyway?

2. Paul. Because ‘Paul’ is a nice name’s The girl in the chickenwire cage

Her face was held in this position by a perfect ‘C’-shaped wreath of fat. A crease began at one temple, circled just under her chin like a soldiers helmet band and ended at the other temple. From that her chins went down the front of her in perfectly graduated masses, widening each time until they completely encircled her at the equator.

3. The QC Report’s In Difference

A few years ago, I was lazing around in my hospital bed, enjoying the fruits of the narco-pharmacology industry when a nurse came in wheeling a cart. On the cart was the eight hour-old reason I was being given all the painkillers private healthcare can buy.

4. rockpool in the kitchen’s The Cure(d): Robert Smith for ever …

But then quite suddenly, everyone disappeared - the group of fans, the Cure, the watchful functionaries, the security guards, everyone; everyone but Robert Smith that is, who was sloping towards us (yes, ’sloping’ once again will do it) hair on end, lipstick smudged, a beer can in one hand, and in the other a very tatty copy of the first paperback edition of Charlotte Sometimes.

5. Scary Duck’s On Misadventure

In the half-light, and with the bedside cabinet of a hypochondriac, you are engaging in one thing and one thing only: Pecker Roulette.

And, sadly, I have lost.

6. Spiral Skies’ Handy Hint of the Day

When applying for a job you really fancy, do not, under any circumstances, write the covering letter for said position after manic blog-writing. It will only end in tears. Oh dear.

If you have a post you want to nominate, please leave a link in the comments below.

The deadline for nominations is Friday June 22nd.