This week’s winning post should cycle us all back to spin class, maybe equipped with a fattie, a microdot, or just the natural endorphins that accompany good old-fashioned exercise.

Congratulations to ForkSplit and her tale of Tweaker Tanya.

Nominated by Mike

I’m no gym rat. Sometimes, in fact, I’ll go months without seeing the inside of a gym. Then, my ass starts jiggling during sex, so I’ll hit the gym for a few months until everything’s nice and tight. Then I stop. For a couple months.

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Our Judges said:

I can’t fathom having the inclination to go to the gym (stoned or otherwise), but I might be tempted to join a class with Tanya.

Funny and original.

Is this what gyms are like? I have to start going. I also particularly liked “One Sunday, I was watching an elderly chimp doing karate on YouTube and eating Nacho flavored Bugles when I realized something. God, I thought. I am a waste of space.”

This week’s team consisted of shortlister Lyle, and the multi-timezone judging squad of Ben, Jessica, members-of-the-public Zinnia and James, as well as not-so-little (I do need a spin class) old me, Bob.

You do know that YOU can join in the fun too, right? Clicketh here to get the skinny and be a part of next week’s fun.