January 20th, 2007

The next Post Of The Week will be announced on Sunday evening.

Please note that nominations for next week cannot be accepted until then.

1. diamond geezer: Matching pairs.

Two kinds of people go shopping for clothes - those who want to and those who have to. I’m in the latter camp. I don’t buy clothes often, and I don’t buy clothes for fun.

2. Glitter for Brains: The Glitz, The Glamour.

All I shall comment about the ‘Best Sports Group’ was there was a terrible wiff of Lynx and TK Maxx, even though my paper napkin. And bless the table for ‘Best Clubs in the Midlands or East’ - they turned up in an awful lot of man-made fibers, which made for daring and compelling viewing whenever one of them reached over the candle centerpiece for a low-sodium cracker dip.

3. Let Me Tell You All About It, Sweetie: Sticks and Stones.

I immediately got this sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach and my mouth got really dry. My whole body started to tingle with shame. Since they didn’t know I was behind the partition, I turned and left the laboratory by the back door and made a dash for my office where I could shut the door and calm down.

4. little.red.boat: I get into a conversation with a homeless man…

“I DIN MEAN TA SCARE YA” he slurs, shoutingly.

I pull my studied ignoring-shouting-drunk-people face, and carelessly flap my hand at my side in an attempt to convey that all is forgiven and forgotten and that I suggest we should move on, separately, and never speak of this again.

5. MATTHEWGOOD.ORG <-> THE COOPERATION: It wasn’t worth the Risk…

My victory at that moment was quite bitter and not very satisfying at all… I could proudly stand on my mountain of shit and proclaim myself as king… while everyone else thought to themselves, “man, what a dick”…

6. meish dot org: On Rampant Tosspottage.

I’m not going to throw myself into fast-moving traffic because you think it’s timely to do so. Weirdly, I’m going to wait until I consider it safe to go ahead. I know, it’s a crazy concept, isn’t it?

7. Sticky Crows: Kitchen table clues.

The details of his life were displayed in the pile on the kitchen table. A pile of garbage seemingly, cigarette butts, junk mail, rolling papers, food wrappings, mail, papers of various kinds. Here is a letter we gave him a month ago, torn in two.

8. The Overnight Editor: The 000-999 of London.

You know ambergris - whale vomit, used to make perfume? Well noctilukre is like human ambergris.

It’s an accretion of all those London nights out - all the booze, the pub-smoke and club-floor grime, slowly built up into a solid deposit inside the body.

9. The QC Report: A Foolish Consistancy.

So, in the place where I was to find inner peace, I now had to find a place to put the cup of inner peace for the next hour. Oddly enough, the pews didn’t have cup-holders, which I think shows a certain lack of vision on the part of the diocese.