1. Diamond Geezer: How to survive the Office Christmas Meal.
(nominated by kate)

You have virtually nothing in common. They know nothing about your interests and you care nothing about theirs. Stick to the usual safe conversational topics (house prices, holiday arrangements, children’s TV programmes) and you should make it through.

2. Everything Is Electric: I was in a canteen somewhere in the Midlands this morning.
(nominated by Sarah)

“THE BUTTON IS CLEARLY MARKED.”

3. Glitter For Brains: Orange Sundays.
(nominated by Sarah)

I stirred my cocktail as, around me, feral gentlemen ran by yelling ‘WOT U IN2 M8?’ and ‘PIXPLSTHNX’ into the air like banshees with all the speed of Britney Spears running away from a court-ordered drugs-test.

4. Letters Home: World Aids Day.
(nominated by Mike)

Someone poured me a slug of cognac that was many times greater than my choice of shot size. I drank it nonetheless…like a cup of tea that ceases to steam, and I changed into a mouth that works and eyes and legs that do not.

5. Musings from Middle England: Time To Pull Off 12 Angry Men.
(nominated by Mike)

Juries are a relic from the days when people lived in small communities, before technology, before forensics and DNA, when the universal belief was that the sun went round the earth.

6. Sarah, The Bringer of Tea: Happy Tranniversary to Me!
(nominated by Greg K. Nicholson)

Two years ago I was a shy, paranoid tranny hiding behind my hair and spending my time in public trying to work out how to keep interaction with strangers as minimal as possible.

7. Scaryduck: On saying “Boilk”.
(nominated by kate)

It’s that time of the year again, and you know what that means: the annual celebration of the birth of Our Lord Jesus Christ. In chocolate form.