September 8th, 2007

The next Post Of The Week will be announced on Sunday evening.
Please note that nominations for next week cannot be accepted until then.

1.Diamond Geezer : The 5 Equations of Blog: Blog+Life>Blog-Life

(Nominated by Girl With a One-Track Mind)

Blogging, done properly, enhances your life. If there’s something you desperately want to tell the world you can get it out of your system, even if nobody’s listening. It’s a particularly useful tool for us single people. We have nobody to turn to during the news and say “who does that Gordon Brown think he is?” or “wahey, two up for the Arsenal!” or “blimey that Amy Winehouse is looking rough”. Blogging gives us an outlet, with the ever-present possibility of feedback.

2. Life on my Planet: Inner Peace

(Nominated by SwissToni)

You avoid the toilets because the smell of urine imprints itself into your brain. Everything has a smell. At work, a woman would get a nosebleed everytime one of the other girls had had sex. She could smell semen. She was allergic to semen. Her nerves would seek out male semen inside her colleagues and react. She would come into work with a nosebleed and she’d have been sat next to someone who’d had sex the previous night.

Right now someone is googling “How come she didn’t get a nosebleed when she interacted with males?”

3. Pandemian: Harold be they name

(Nominated by Edvard Moonke)

I am intrigued by the belief in the usefulness of continuing to pray for something that hasn’t been granted. This girl and her family must be the subjects of hundreds of thousands of prayers for her return by now. Presumably those who having been doing the praying have a good case for being answered; the parents are openly religious, the child is blonde, middle class and extremely photogenic and as we all know God hates paedophiles almost as much as men with long hair, sodomy and shops opening for more than six hours on a Sunday.

4. Suburban Hen: You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone

(Nominated by SwissToni)

Perhaps your house burns down. What terrible misfortune! You lose everything dear to you, all the things that you have collected over time, all your memories encased in paper or metal or wood. You favourite things are gone. All of them. Perhaps you are insured; a small consolation. But you rebuild and over time, little by little, you replace the things you lost.

5. The Misssy M Misssives: Excuse me, I’m NOT with the band:

(Nominated by Troubled Diva)

You will drive hundreds of miles in a van that only goes up to 50mph if the wind is in the right direction. You will empty your entire bank account into the pockets of motorway service station owners along the way. You would have brought sandwiches but how rock and Roll is a lunch box? Answer: Not very.

The van may also break down at various intervals. You will be expected not to whine on these occasions.

6. Woman of Experience: The Last Date Saloon

(Nominated by MisssyM)

Dressed up and with nowhere to go, Ms R made her way home feeling, understandably, unsatisfied. What would have been preferable is a place for disappointed datees, people like her to go to. A kind of Last Date Saloon where people gathered when their date had dumped them, they’d had an argument or they hadn’t got what they expected. Here they could tell their stories of woe and hopefully save the evening in one way or another. It would be like Cheers except nobody would know your name.